Chris Parkes

The Answer's Within

If I Will Make It

When will I cry enough?  Haven't I tried enough?  Just how much pain can one man take in just one life?  Ahh.  Should I just end it all, as nothing seems to mend it all?  Have you got a better way?  Please, let me know.  Ahh.  If I will make it is still unsure.  Will I see tomorrow...will I see tomorrow morning?  I'm sick of the ups and downs; always being bumped around.  I go from high to so depressed, I'm such a mess.  Ahh.  If I will make it is still unsure.  Will I see tomorrow...will I see tomorrow morning?  The truth is I want to live, but not the life that's mine.  I guess it's not gonna' happen during this life, so I'll hope it works out next time.  The drugs no longer help at all; I gave up on the alcohol.  It seems I'm sick forever more.  Where is god now?  Ahh.  If I will make it is still unsure.  Will I see tomorrow...will I see tomorrow morning?


Out Of Control 

At times things are so calm, it's like nothing can go wrong.  Minutes, hours, or days go bye, but something makes me another guy.  I'm back to this world where everything works out right.  No one is ever wrong, cus' I am the only one.  Every hypothesis and every subconsciousness, I feel I have powers here, well maybe I do.  I never am tired here; there's no sense of time at all.  What was I talking of, who was I speaking to?  How did you get in here?  Why are you speaking so fast I can't understand?  I can't understand.  I feel like I'm out of control.  Everybody's always pointing at me.   I feel like I'm out of control.  Everybody's always pointing at me.  Back to where I first began, it's almost like I never ran.  I try to understand my life, but before I can I take another flight.  All of my good ideas come to me when I'm here, the trouble is that I can't remember the thoughts I have.  So many great things are stuck in this place I go.  How do you get them out once I come back outside?  Truth is I like it here, nothing bad happens where someone would hurt me to bad my skin turns to blue.  Why can't I live this way?  Always have answers to questions I've always had.  I don't understand.  I feel like I'm out of control.  Everybody's always pointing at me.   I feel like I'm out of control.  Everybody's always pointing at me.  Now they say I should change my life, but if I do will I lose my sight?  What will come out of all this change, will I become a man who can speak his name?  Someone brings me back to life- at work, home, or at bed at night.  I want to stay here all the time, but somehow I get pulled in my mind.  I come here all times of week, no matter what place I am at.  It doesn't change with my mood, I come here without a clue.  It's during a conversation, when I am driving home, sometimes at work alone; even when on the phone.  I can't stop this on my own, it's not like a dream at all.  I'm flooded with images and then there are voices when- thought after thought it seems soon they will have to stop.  How much can one brain make?  Do you understand?  I feel like I'm out of control.  Everybody's always pointing at me.   I feel like I'm out of control.  Everybody's always pointing at me. 


A Little Weaker 

I can't stand on my own anymore.  I can't stand on my own anymore.  We might not seem as close and so together, but just remember what we had will never start to waiver.  Some-days I'm not the man you thought you married, but that's just because I fight my plague it's not your fault in the least.  It seems no matter what you do you always make the pain a little weaker.  It seems no matter what you do you always make the pain a little weaker.  I know it seems it's gonna last forever.  Just like you said “You made the choice that you'd never leave me.”  So don't lose hope, I know you have it in you.  Please pray for me, since I can not.  I beg you keep fighting harder.  It seems no matter what you do you always make the pain a little weaker.  Each time I heal I also keep regressing.  Please stay with me, I need your voice to keep me from my killer.  I love you more than life, you keep me breathing.  If not for you I'd stop this game and let nature swing it's hardest.  It seems no matter what you do you always make the pain a little weaker.  I can't stand on my own anymore.  I can't stand on my own anymore.     


It All Slips Back 

It seems that whatever I do the mania comes, oh it comes.  Days that are good fail to last.  When the mania goes, oh it comes back again.  I slip and I slide down this hill deep in my head.  It's all in my head.  The dreams at night, oh they seem real...how can I tell, which ones are which?  I feel that their eyes are on me.  Every move and every breath I take.  It seems that whatever I do my mind wont stop these racing thoughts I have.  Yeah.  And they're days I think I'm gonna' get a little better.  And they're days I think I'm gonna' get a little better.  And I find out it's not how it was before when my life I could control.  Now each day's a fucking hell.  Well now there's nothing left to say.  Hey if only today would end.  t seems that whatever I do the mania comes (It all slips back), oh it comes.    Days that are good fail to last.  When the mania goes (It all slips back again), oh it comes back again.


Don't Bother

I'd like to know where I stand and if I have a place with you.  We've grown apart in many ways.  So, whatever I've done to you can't be quite as bad as not helping me get well.  Who said you could act as God and take my life away before I had a chance to live.  It's like the time you spent with me was just a way to fill the day.  You spoke some words I thought you meant.  So, whatever I've done to you can't be quite as bad as not helping me get well.  Who said you could act as God and take my life away before I had a chance to live.  Tell me what you really think.  Am I ever good enough?  You've turned me down when I've been in need.  And I know you'll never change at all.  I've made a choice, to step aside and keep my feelings deep inside.  You held me down for most my life.  So, whatever I've done to you can't be quite as bad as not helping me get well.  Who said you could act as God and take my life away before I had a chance to live.  So, whatever I've done to you can't be quite as bad as not helping me get well.  Who said you could act as God and take my life away before I had a chance to live.  Unless you can say, really say “We wrong and want to change.”  Cause you know that you weren't who you should have been all through the years.  Just know you still got time.


It's Time To Say Goodbye 

It's hard to believe sometime how life can change so fast.  Whatever the reasons are things don't seem to last.  You say “Why does it have to be someone that I love.”  You look above and you scream their name expecting a reply, but there's not.  It seems like only yesterday that you taught them how to drive and only a day ago that their college acceptance arrived.  The reasons that you had to live have run right out the door.  There must be more to our lives than things feelings of despair.  There wasn't a moment when you could say your own goodbye.  It's hard to adjust your live when your son has really died.  The reasons that you had to live have run right out the door.  There must be more to our lives than things feelings of despair.  Life will throw you just what you can handle, and if you need some help look to God.  There's times you feel your prayers aren't answered, but this is when he's there more than most.  You hope it's a dream your in, but you soon wake up to see.  The boy you loved so much is now a memory.  The reasons that you had to live have run right out the door.  There must be more to our lives than things feelings of despair.  It's hard to believe sometimes that he's not just away from home.  You gotta' accept the truth and know he's not coming home.  The reasons that you had to live have run right out the door.  There must be more to our lives than things feelings of despair.  It's time to let him go, it's time to say goodbye, this is what he'd want for you.  It's time to let him go, it's time to say goodbye, this is what he'd want for you.  It's time to let him go, it's time to say goodbye, this is what he'd want you to do. 


No One's Gonna Leave You 

When you're sitting trying to fall asleep you might as well call me up.  When you're thinking how to fill your day you might say “Come my way.”  And there's times when you're so afraid that no one's there for you.  These are days you should look around and you'll know it's  true that no one's gonna leave in the dark.  There are sometimes that we all feel left outside,  all alone; without a home.  So when you're hoping for that bright blue sky, then don't you cry if it rains.  Cause there's times when we need some rain for the pain to heal.  And there day's you can get upset and be afraid to deal, but no one's gonna leave in the dark.   


Take A Chance 

What you did is not quite that easy to forgive.  When I needed you you turned a deaf ear and looked away.  It was no longer my control.  I had no way to handle life, but through the eyes that I saw only pain.  Still I'll take a chance; put my heart on the line, but don't screw this up for me, this is the final bout.  I used to wake and wonder what's the point “I'm giving up.”  Still I made it through- chance, a bit of luck, or maybe God.  I may have stumbled on the way, I had no one to make things right.  All I knew was the life you took away.  Still I'll take a chance; put my heart on the line, but don't screw this up for me, this is the final bout. There's nothing you can do or say that makes your wrong a right.  Time may be the only thing that mends the sting and bite.  Still I'll take a chance; put my heart on the line, but don't screw this up for me, this is the final bout.  Now today I'm supposed to bite my tongue; pretend we're friends.  Still the hurt is there- just put on the shelf, will it last?  You may think it's all okay, it will be all right if you change your ways and make the most of this time that we have.  Still I'll take a chance; put my heart on the line, but don't screw this up for me, this is the final bout.  There's nothing you can do or say that makes your wrong a right.  Time may be the only thing that mends the sting and bite.  There's nothing you can do or say that makes your wrong a right.  Time may be the only thing that mends the sting and bite. 


The Answer's Within 

No matter how hard I try to climb, it seems so close.  No matter what I do, it remains so out of reach.  Some days I'm up and some days down; it's one big game.  Even when the World does stop my mind wont cease to spin.  My dreams interrupt me from my sleep, what does this mean?  I analyze all my thoughts, even some that aren't my own.  I can't help, but I always fall within, deep inside my mind.  How do I stop this curse?  It seems that I'm stuck for life.  The answer's are within.  Just a little deeper, the answer's within me.  There's so much going on, oh, I can't think, or hear your voice.  How am I supposed to know what are real and what are thoughts?  I can't remember much of anything, it's all a blur.  You may think I'm full of shit, but trust me I wish I were.  The answer's are within.  Just a little deeper, the answer's within me.  There's few on Earth that seem to understand or even care.  I'm not asking for your tears, I just want it all to end.  It causes more confusion than does pain.  Do you understand?  Nothing more that I can say; tomorrow is a better day.  The answer's are within.  Just a little deeper, the answer's within me.  The answer's are within.  Just a little deeper, the answer's within me.       


You Said Yes 

Well I just want you to know where you stand in my world.  It's you and nobody else for me.  Do you believe?  I know you are the cure for all my pain.  Just one look, your smile, and those eyes can make one guy begging for your love.  The day I met you I knew there was something about I liked.  So I fell, I fell so deep in love with and I haven't been able to get up.  I know you are the cure for all my pain.  Just one look, your smile, and those eyes can make one guy begging for your love.  So I finally, I finally got the courage to ask you to marry me.  And you said yes.  What'd you say?  You said yes.  Yeah.  You said yes.


You're So Much More 

When you look at me I can't understand how your face can smile.  I may lose control, still you don't seem to fear what I may evoke.  You're so much more than I deserve.  What you give me it far exceeds.  You're so much more than I deserve.  When you made the choice to become my wife to deal with my life, this hell.  If you were to go I'd fall to my knees, but let you walk away.  You're so much more than I deserve.  What you give me it far exceeds.  You're so much more than I deserve.  I think you should know that I really do care; where would I be without you.  I think you should know that I really do care; where would I be without you.  Save me from death ... I need your help, because I want to live, but can't.  How you give so much, yet you don't expect much more than who I am.  When I look at you I feel that I should try to live and not to die.  You're so much more than I deserve.  What you give me it far exceeds.  You're so much more than I deserve. 


You Were There 

You were there when I was young; we were always having fun.  You were there for me when I sat on your knee and I began to dream.  In my dreams you fought off the monsters; it was you who saved the day.  You'd let me ride on your back and pretend to fly, there was nothing we would not try.  You were there when I was a boy; you gave me all the perfect toys.  You were there for me when I was stung by a bee and I began to cry.  You first dried up all of my tear drops and your touch took away my pain.  You read me stories with love and you held me tight.  You'd always make things right.  You were there when I was in school; you taught me “Always follow the rules.”  You would talk to me, you would listen to me and never treat me like a child.  And when I did what I was not supposed to you would always tell me why.  Through all the years with spent I haven't thanked you enough how you always made me feel above.  And even now that I'm a man I know that God has the perfect plan.  What is soon to be we'll know that it's because of thee and not what's done is in vein.  Although I'll always feel I've lost you you'll always feel close by.  And they'll come a time when we'll meet again.  I'll hear your voice when I hear the rain.        



All songs written by Christopher E. Parkes

© Christopher E. Parkes, All Rights Reserved.  Songs published by BMI.


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